Watch my Youtube

Loading...

Monday, April 14, 2014

From Extreme Hurt to Forgiveness and Moving On

Recently I have had something happen to me that really brought me low and almost made me want to give up on everything. Someone I had gotten extremely close to and who was extremely close to me (or at least I thought), and who I grew to love deeply suddenly had a change of heart out of the blue. Actually I loved him from when I first saw him. He had said often how much he loved me and that he was in love with me. We had been talking about getting married and how much we loved each other. How we could not wait to be together as husband and wife. But he suddenly changed his mind and broke my heart into a million pieces. This happened only a week after he had said how much he loved me and asked me for my ring size. Not only did he end our relationship abruptly but there was no friendship in the separation and he did it in a way that was very mean and cruel. We started off as such good friends (or so I thought). I was deeply hurt by his treatment of me and how easy it was for him to walk away from me, drop me and leave me in the dust. I didn't understand how he could go from being so loving and enthusiastic about me and us to completely cold.

With all that said, since then I've been working on raising my own vibration, connecting with myself and forgiving and letting go of situations and people who have hurt me. I started doing a meditation on focusing on feeling my connection with God and that higher plane. I noticed that it starts to feel like there is me, and another part of me that is looking at me and all of the things that I think about. This other part of me, or higher part of me is all forgiving and seeing. As I was meditating I thought about this man who I loved (and still do) and how he had hurt me…but then I started to think about him as a little boy and a baby. I remembered some things he had told me about his childhood that he had gone through. I remember how I felt when he told me about those things, and how I wanted to hug him and be there for him and love him.

Suddenly as I started to think of him as a tiny human being who had been hurt just as I was (though not in the same way) hurting at that moment and from there I was able to be in a forgiving state. The hurt and anger I felt from how he treated me and closed the door on us seemed to get smaller while the love in my heart for him as a human being grew larger. I felt big from that view, my heart felt big. It was a better view from there as opposed to being that first part of myself who only saw the hurtful situation.

I think if we can look at everyone through new eyes, eyes that see the whole picture and eyes that see the real person behind the “evil deeds” then we can truly move past hurts quicker and forgive and let go with ease. I did that meditation because I truly wanted/want to let go because the sadness and anger was only hurting myself.

Additionally in order to move on and get past hurts, for me I stopped visiting the past. The past is what creates the thoughts that make me sad. Once I stopped incorporating the past into my thoughts and life I noticed that I feel lighter. The past also includes reminiscing about how it was with my ex, or how he made me feel. Once I stop focusing on that and focus on now and what I want going forward that has made healing able to take place. I'm not saying that I'm completely healed from that situation. There are times that I still cry, but I feel that looking at my ex from this perspective is very helpful in me completing the cycle of moving on and finally letting go.

I’ll probably never get an answer from my ex or from any other source as to why he ended our relationship so rudely and without feeling or concern for me. Maybe I’ll never know, but maybe the whole point of this situation was for me to experience forgiveness.

Well sorry for the book everyone, and also sorry for how long it’s been since I've posted! :O

Have a great week and blessed be! <3 M.

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Holiday Illusions

Holiday Illusions


It has become a standard that any other non-holiday day is “the norm” to be violent, mean, selfish, unkind, rude or whatever. Then suddenly because of a day that is just like any other day, but that we’ve been told to put under the guise of a “HOLIDAY! :D” …suddenly there is this invisible shiny glossy magic cover put on it and then almost everyone has this gleam in their eyes.

I don’t know why but as every year comes during the holidays I feel this sense of distraction and that I’m being fed an illusion, and today which is Thanksgiving 2013 is no different. I do not want to put across the idea that I’m not a thankful person or that I don’t enjoy all the delicious food and being with family or friends who are family that comes with this day and other big holidays. I also do not want to put across that there aren't genuine heart felt people out there who really care during these times.

No it’s not that, what I’m talking about is, I feel this aura around the holidays that almost feels like a big lie. I really hope that I don’t offend anyone with this, but I feel it needs to be said.

It is like we are having the wool pulled over our eyes, like being stuck in a weird void or warp for our minds when it comes to Thanksgiving, Christmas and many other holidays. Especially when it comes to shopping but I won't even go there in this post. 

Let’s take Thanksgiving for example since today happens to be Thanksgiving. Everyone makes such a huge deal out of the holiday and being thankful and the nostalgia of it all…when in fact this sort of energy or aspect of love should be an everyday thing. It’s like we have been programmed to be kind and loving only on these holidays and any other day is a free for all to be ridiculous to others. 

In my opinion it is very sad that we have fallen into this “Holiday” lie. Yes I said lie, and I say it because the lie in the holidays is that those are the only times to experience and give the feelings associated with those holidays. Love, which encompasses all the good feelings and emotions that surround these holidays we choose to express them, is meant to be an everyday occurrence.

Everyone really needs to wake up and stop being blinded and stop allowing themselves to be brainwashed into this idea that giving once a year is really giving, or being kind once a year is really a kind heart. These are illusions, and I am trying to wake you up to that…or at least I hope I made you think.

Needless to say, I hope you have a very blessed day today, everyday and that every day you experience a holiday, because every day should be treated as such.

  Jipsy

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Random Rant and Rave: Fake and Phony

**Sorry for this random rant, but I'm really fed up with a lot of the fake crap that goes on. I will get back to more relevant things such as spirituality, music etc on my next blogs. Every girl deserves a rave and rant day.** 

Yes I'm ranting today...I'm finding some "friends" I've known since I was younger aren't actually my friends. Especially since they delete posts that have to do with my music that I put on their wall to remind them to "like" my page...because for some reason they "keep forgetting".

It's funny and phony how "friends" pretend to be your friend but they will not support you in anything you are doing that is moving in a positive direction. These same friends have told me I should give up on music and only be a parent like them.

Listen my daughter is about 18yrs old in a month. I've raised her, I have no other children, don't plan on having anymore. I have goals and dreams to make come true. It is not my fault if a person decides to have millions of kids. That is actually a great thing to bring life into the world if that is what you choose to do. However I also feel it is great to be successful in your ambitions. That is what I choose for myself.

I have even had a family member, who I'm not going to name, while we were sitting at a restaurant together took it upon herself to steal an opportunity from me right before my eyes. I was speaking to a waiter about music and asking him if he does music, what instruments he plays etc..and before I can get my words out, my family member butts in, "Great here's my number, I'm looking for a few good musicians. My name is blaah blah.."

I sat there looking at her with complete disbelief. To add insult to the injury, she answered my look with "What? Business is business, and I need a musician".

I'm only including a few with me at the top of the mountain, the ones who deserve to be there because they truly stuck by me when I was struggling at the bottom.



My revenge will be my success...because I will be successful.  M.

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Random Thoughts today.. :)

**Also posted on my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/mystikjipsy **

Most times I'm overwhelmed with emotions of care and compassion for people I don't even know..people I see when I'm sitting at a light or walking in the mall or whatever. I feel so connected and sometimes sad for them..like they are a family member I love and care deeply about. 

Part of me wants to shrink away from this emotional reaction, I'm almost embarrassed. I believe part of the reason is because we are so conditioned to be self absorbed and not caring for others from day 1. At least subliminally we are. Having genuine love and care for other people is look at as a weakness especially in the current world we live in.

When I get in this frame of mind of feeling compassion for others I also inwardly think something must be wrong with me to be feeling this way..I mean it isn't the "usual" way of interacting with people, especially people you don't know right? Or is it?

We forgot who we really are and have come to believe that this world we live in and all of it's mind traps are who we are..and that is not the truth.

I believe this reaction I've been having to people I don't know is the natural state we all have before we even become a physical energy and how we are meant to feel.. but it has been suppressed because we've become so absorbed in the illusions of our surroundings.

 M.

p.s...and G'morning! Hope you have a great Sunday! xo

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Some life happenings..really ridiculous, sad, funny life situations about cleanliness.

So...it seems an ongoing theme in my life to run into situations where people get very upset with me for wanting to be clean or stay germ free. To me it is very funny how I'm the one made out to be over acting and overly germaphobic when  something they do is prone to cause sickness or whatever.

I'll give you some examples.

For instance once I was employed by an organization where my supervisor sat across from me and vice versa. We would eat our lunch at our desks which was nice because it was much more comfortable to me to enjoy my lunch at my desk. Anyways, well I noticed that as she was eating her sandwich she kept sitting it on the desk without a napkin or anything underneath it. Well I mentioned how other people come and sit there and that you don't know what goes on when she is not there.

Well you'd think I called her a blasphemous name or something because she flipped out and brought other employees in on it like I was a goody two shoe about germs. She also wanted to make it clear that because she was able to sit her sandwich on an open desk it somehow made her stronger than me..like I was a weakling. Good grief.

Another for instance recently my daughter had a friend come spend the night at our house. Now I'm all for the sleepover thing and friends having a movie night etc. I didn't know that the friend coming over was coming over sick as a dog. Out of kindness, because she was already here I let her stay the one night but had already decided she needed to go home the next day. The friend was laying down the entire time she was here and was coughing and all sorts of things.

That is only part of the whole issue..when my daughter spoke with the friend through email I'm told the friends mother was upset with me because I sent her home for being sick! And because I was using Lysol around her daughter! Wt?

She was contagious, and sick at my home when you knew she was sick and I'm being ridiculed because I was cleaning around her and because I took her home? The nerve of it all!

One last for instance. I was washing my hands at a job before lunch and I felt a coworker watching me..so I slowly turn to her as if to say why are you staring so hard. She then proceeds to look at my hands and says "what are you going in for surgery?" tyring to make it as a joke..because I was washing my hands. I wash my hands for at least 15 secs. Some people seem to put liquid soap on there hands and then just rinse under the water without any washing. To me and for my own needs that is NOT washing your hands.

There are many other instances I can mention about this whole thing of people being defensive about you pointing out an obvious thing. But I'll stop here.

I think the reason people get so upset is because they feel you are somehow belittling them because you aren't doing the unaware actions they are doing. It makes them feel less than and so because of their lack of self they'll try to bring you down a peg or two so you feel like them. It's so ego based it's not even funny anymore it's sad really..
♥ Jipsy

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

**Music Updates**

Hey Jipsies!

Long time no post, I'm sorry I haven't been on here in a long while.

Just some updates about what is going on with me in the music world! :)

First:
If you didn't know already my first release is now available on iTunes http://smarturl.it/MystikjipsyoniTunes
called Not Your Average Jipsy! This release is also available on Amazon, Spotify, Rhapsody just to name a few.

A HUGE thank you to everyone who is going out and buying my first release!
I'm working on a second release to be called Once Upon A Winter. I will update when that
is available!

Second:
I as the lead singer and a few excellent musicians have formed a new band...called Of Eve and our new Facebook page is located here------>http://www.facebook.com/OfEve?ref=hl
Go "Like" us there as well as my personal music page at http://www.facebook.com/mystikjipsy  !

Our first gig is at Ferg's Sports Bar & Grill this October--->http://www.facebook.com/FergsSportsBar?directed_target_id=0


We are in the process of getting a profile pic on our profile and new music as well.
We will be performing a few covers and much of my own music I have already put out as Mystikjipsy. I look forward to seeing and meeting all of you soon at some of our shows! :)

Thank you for your continuing support of my musical jouirney!

♥ Jipsy

Sunday, June 16, 2013

In this day and age??

I've experienced a few times racists types of situations where I've spoken to a white person, maybe over the phone..everything goes well, everyone is considerate and polite and looking forward to meeting the other. For no apparent reason when they finally get to meet me they are suddenly distant and seem to dislike me like I've killed their dog or something.  Come to find out they were unaware that I was a black woman because over the phone I sounded white, so when they see me they are not happy campers.

In addition, I've had (very recently) a white person just stare at me as if I was some disgusting creature they've never seen. I've also noticed that it doesn't matter how much money you have, how nice your clothes are, how good your smell, how eloquently you speak, how educated you are or even how straight your hair is as a black person..because people that are suffering with being a racist never see anything but a color.

I will never understand why the color of skin is so important. We are all HUMAN, and all BEAUTIFUL living TOGETHER on this earth.
I know racism is unfortunately still alive, but it's still very odd to me to come up against this sort of thing in this day and age..it is also sad and quite a bit stupid. I'm very concerned that racist people no matter their race, are behind in their thinking to the point of being elementary..and not able to get passed a color of a persons skin.

Dr. Martin Luther King did so much to begin change in American regarding racism and human rights. I feel he opened so many doors for this country. But that is just it, he opened the doorways and we are the ones that were supposed to complete the journey. I am sad to say that we haven't really carried out what Dr. King started all those years ago.

It is like American's became lazy and complacent depending only on what was accomplished by him instead of moving it forward as I'm sure Dr. King wanted. The point I think was for we as Americans to continue to build upon what was initiated by Dr. Martin Luther King. We seriously still have a long long way to go.

M.

Follow me by Email

Followers